To: i_teach_esl@yahoo.com
Sent: Friday, June 15, 2007 9:02:22 AM
Subject: Re: hey i messaged u :D
im 18..shes 19 ive know her for a little over a year and a half. she is pretty good at english shes come a long way since i first met her..and yea we can talk ..i usually spk english to her, yea she can have real convos, lol but some things i think she SAYS she understands i kno shes lying..but thats rare. ive had one gf before for about 17 months.
about the blk ppl understanding thing yea i kno what u mean, to me though i think of it more black and white and like a business kinda thing u know. most of the ppl i know (at least here in LA) who are black fit right into the stereotype..and its not racial or anything because im black myself. but when another black person tells me, that because i dont speak ebonics or act like a fool in public that im "acting white" that shit really pushes me away, i know because i can say i have ONE or 2 other black friends who are intelligent and show it, like myself. So about the way i think of things is, why would i search long and hard to find what seems to be a very scarce amount of blks who are willing to step up to the plate and have pride for themselves and their families, when i can just date out of the race, where the norm is to USUALLY have pride for yourself and your work and excel in life. you see what i mean? its like investing in a horrible stock, when i can invest in one that is more LIKELY (by societys standpoint) to succeed. And im not saying i wouldnt go out with a black person i dont rly care about race and i think its stupid to make a huge deal of the thing, the only reason it is the way it is is because ppl cause it to be like that. Am i making any sense to you?
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Sent: Wednesday, June 20, 2007 12:16:49 AM
Subject: Re: hey i messaged u :D
im 18..shes 19 ive know her for a little over a year and a half. i think this is where age comes into play. when i was 18, i thought love or hearts or whatever was enough. i thought the man i was dating at 18 would be the husband, the "forever." now that i am 31, i feel quite different. but only you know you... but also try to consider that you at 18 will not be the same at 30-something. you and her can certainly keep dating, be friends, grow together, take things as they go.
ive had one gf before for about 17 months ..you'll meet lots of people, lots of different women, and it's lovely that you feel so much for this girl now... so just enjoy it as it is. you two are hanging out, getting to know each other, having a good time together; keep going that way. i dont know if there's need to worry about much else right now, ie: the future with her.
about the blk ppl understanding thing yea i kno what u mean, to me though most of the ppl i know (at least here in LA) who are black fit right into the stereotype..when another black person tells me that because i dont speak ebonics or act like a fool in public that im "acting white" that shit really pushes me away this was me as well. i grew up with people who lived the stereotype, so i thought that that was what being black was. but when i got older, into college, out of the city, out of the state, out of the country: i saw that we are a very diverse people. i came to no longer resent these blacks i grew up with that ostracised (sp) me, instead i pity them, b/c they're so very full of rage and confusion and dont know how/what to do with it all. dont hold the dumbos in your neighborhood to represent what the black nation is like. you know it's not, b/c it's not how you are. now you know me, a sister who isn't like that as well. give it time. the more i learn about us, the prouder i am of us, the more i love us.
the way i think of things is, why would i search long and hard to find what seems to be a very scarce amount of blks who are willing to step up to the plate and have pride for themselves and their families, when i can just date out of the race, where the norm is to USUALLY have pride for yourself and your work and excel in life. key phrase here is "what seems to be." i know i am being "age-ist" again, but i sincerely think that in time, you wont necessarily think that only non blacks excell in life, and you will even come to understand, even empathize with blacks that struggle. you've only been in your own neighborhood. even if you've been outside LA, consider that there's the whole world... lots of different kinds of black people. but the media and institutionalized racism makes us try to think there is only the stereotype. it's so powerful that even we ourselves think there's only that. there's so much more.
i dont rly care about race and i think its stupid to make a huge deal of the thing, the only reason it is the way it is is because ppl cause it to be like that. i think you'll come to really have great disdain for me b/c again im going to be age-ist: the more you know, the more you experience, the more you learn: you will come to understand that race issues are not stupid, they are a big deal, and you'll maybe even grow a passion about it, the same passion you might feel is silly now.
i think the biggest issue is how we EXPRESS our feelings/opinions. maybe you've heard a lot of angry blacks say simple minded things like "i hate white people." in all honesty, i often hate white people too... but the difference is that i know that phrase "i hate white people" is a knee jerk reaction to all the other things ive come to learn and understand. systematic oppression is a trip.
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