links i find vital

where it all started for me! (btw it starts off with like a min of music)
http://www.filefactory.com/file/c0b6c4f/n/metro_025_black_in_korea_2.mp3
a seoul radio station interview about bssk
http://www.zshare.net/audio/94134128ba8ecd63/
a bunch of interviews with black expats in soko
http://www.youtube.com/user/BSSKSEXIES
find family on facebook: Brothas&Sistas of South Korea
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=25747883752

Saturday, January 01, 2000

black man crushes on korean woman

----- Original Message ----
From: english teacher i_teach_esl@yahoo.com
Sent: Saturday, June 9, 2007 12:41:03 PM
Subject: Re: hey i messaged u :D

hey its xxx..i dunno if i told u my name im xxx..but yeah about this girl..i dunno i like her and i know she likes me too.. (minus the fact that she told me i can tell) but it seems to me that she is scared to date an american person..let alone a "scary blk guy" thats prolly the stuff she heard or was told. she said somethign to me about how she thinks she should date a korean person "until her eng is better" but i think thats bs. Compared to japan, which i am visiting this year i hear Korea is much worse and less accepting, but i dont want to pass judgement so id like to ask you. Perhaps ur experience is better/worse being a female than a male? i dont know well can u explain to me? i guess my biggest issue is the amount of like..crap i will encounter because its not the question IF i will get it i KNOW i will but will it be bareable for me?

hi xxx, i remember you now! may i ask, how old are you? how long have you known this girl? and how fluent is she in english, are you both able to communicate ok? like have real conversations? and my i ask, how old are you? how old is she? have you had much experience in dating/relationships before?

well, above all, my opinion doesnt matter: if you like her, and she likes you, then go for it and let nothing stop you.

but if you WANT my opinion: if you have a sense that she is nervous to date you b/c you are black... well no let me rephrase. if i liked someone, and he seemed a little scared b/c im black, i may stop to ponder a little bit whether or not this is a person i want to keep pursuing. forgive me if im "age-ist", but i think this is where age and maturity and experience come into play. how mature is she that she believes any myths about the "scary black man?" i'd feel arrogant to call myself mature, but im 30-something now, and i could only be with a partner who will can relate to me and my experiences... he'd have to be black. not just black, but a conscious black man, b/c he'll understand things. for me, it's the same as with having black friends: sure, i have non-black friends... but there are some things that i just wouldnt bother talk to non-black people about. some things that i can talk about to my brothas and sistas, they'll KNOW, they'll UNDERSTAND, and i wont have to explain anything. my opinion is such b/c of lots of frustrated arguements and miscommunication ive had w/non black friends.

i hear Korea is much worse and less accepting, but i dont want to pass judgement so id like to ask you.
we all hear different things. as for me, korea is no worse than back home. the only difference is that i make more money here. but this depends, of course, on how racially conscious/sensitive you already are. there is ALWAYS something. yes, if you go looking for it in Korea, you'll find it. but those of us who are aware of the places we're pushed into back home, you'll find that it's no worse in korea than anywhere else.

Perhaps ur experience is better/worse being a female than a male? i dont know well can u explain to me? i agree, i cannot comment on the state the black man here is in korea. if it means anything, he/you have my support :)

i guess my biggest issue is the amount of like..crap i will encounter because its not the question IF i will get it i KNOW i will but will it be bareable for me? i think this doesnt depend on korea, it depends on you.

i hope i've helped... ~i_teach.

2 comments:

mulata said...

hi, i'm a black guy in a similar situation... i found your post doing a google search.

i was just wondering whatever happened in your friend's situation.

mine's different as i have been dating the lady. but it's always fascinating to me to learn more about what it's like to be a black american in south korea.

i am planning on coming there for an extended stay later this year. to further my art career. and to continue pursuing my object of desire.

thanks for writing about this!

pol
artofmulata.wordpress.com

supadupaflyseoulsista said...

actually, i never heard back from this guy. this was the last email he'd sent. :(