dammit

on the desk to the left of the monitor of the computer in my hotel room were two full sheets of paper and one little scrap of paper, each crowded with messy scribbles on both sides of each sheet. i was compling a list of topics i had planned on blogging about one day, details on "lists" of reasons i think i'll be sucessful here in korea.

i've been scribbling notes since before i got here, thinking that a few months from now, i'll have them to refer to and see if they held true and then write about why each works. it wouldve been great, it would've been like a whole series of posts about b/c of how i think and feel and am, from the littlest details, is why i'm happy here. each post would've been titled things like, "Im Glad I Am" and "Im Glad I Brought" and "Im Glad I Know How To..."

...like im glad i can do and like a bucket bath b/c the showers here are often just a loose shower head that's not attached to the wall. i'm glad i can and have no problem with hand washing clothes in the sink so that i can have clean clothes everyday and not sit around whining that i dont know where the laundry mat is and wouldnt be able to work the machine anyway b/c its in korean. like if i cant communicate with someone here, i dont get in a huff about no one speaking english despite all the english language schools everywhere, instead i know that im in korea and ought to learn to read and write korean. like i konw that if no one emails me or reads this website, it's not that no one is thinking about me, it's that people are busy and have thier own lives, and i am going to go out and enjoy my own. like i'll be sucessful and happy here at cdi b/c i came for the job and not the money... you get the gist. i would've fine tuned it all and wrote it out and it would've been great.

you'll notice that im using the past tense in referring to all my brilliant notes. this is b/c the guy that cleans the room threw my scraps out with the trash yesterday. son of a b.... >:(

well, this is a good opportunity for self reflection. how cool do i think i am if i trip over a little thing like a guy just trying to do his job... if my notes were so important to me, i shouldve kept them in my folder or my bag, and not laid out in a space that's not mine to begin with. *sigh*