links i find vital

where it all started for me! (btw it starts off with like a min of music)
a seoul radio station interview about bssk
a bunch of interviews with black expats in soko
find family on facebook: Brothas&Sistas of South Korea

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

i dreamt my teeth fell out.

everyday i am on, or, or, reading about teaching abroad in korea...

I had a dream last night that i was brushing my teeth, and a bunch of my back molars cracked and broke off, i spit into the sink and i spit out blood and bits of teeth. then my canines and front teeth started to crumble, my teeth all brittle like chalk, i lost them all. i ran my tongue over my gums felt odd stubs where teeth used to be.

i googled the meaning of dreams of teeth falling out:"Teeth are used to bite, tear, chew and gnaw. In this regard, teeth represent power. And the loss of teeth in your dream may be from a sense of powerlessness. Are you lacking power in some current situation? One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxiety about your appearance and how others perceive you. Sadly, we live in a world where good looks are valued highly and your teeth play an important role in conveying that image."

i think this dream is a manifestation of my subconscious angst that i wont find a job teaching abroad b/c i am black, i have locks, and im overweight. ive read stories (and who even knows if they're true?) about teachers who, once their employers see them at the airport, refuse to hire them, and teachers are left stuck. i've read about schools who hire based solely on your photo. i've been turned down by aeon and nova with no explanation even though i exceed all their qualifications. Yeah, im worried i wont find a job. thus this dream.

but now that i am aware of my fears, i am less fearful of them. sure, these obstacles exist for me, but that doesnt mean there is no opportunity for me either. Blaque, ever insightful, talked about the situation of the black man in the united states: you have obstacles all around you from birth, and although it is difficult, you can rise above and find a way to make a decent living. you just have to work harder... like always.

No comments: